Of Cruelty and Presents
by Anony9
Summary: They should have known, oh how they should have known!


**Author****'****s**** Note:**Hey everyone! Merry Christmas! Wow, Christmas is only four days away it's so exciting. I hope that you are all having a great time with family and friends, or whatever you are doing and celebrating the Christmas spirit.

This is my gift to you all this Christmas, with a special thanks to Cim902 for giving me the idea, I hope you all enjoy this. Also, I love reviews, (no profanity or swearing though, please.) a lot…please? Grammatical tips and hints are nice as well.

Life is really busy, I know, but in the hustle-bustle of our daily lives times ten because of the Christmas commercialization, take some time to slow down and remember what Christmas is really about and enjoy the Spirit of Christmas, it's worth it, trust me.

Now without any further ado, allow me to present you with… 

**Of Cruelty and Presents**

They should have known! Really, they should have, but in view of the Christmas season they thought that maybe, just maybe, even the detestable Sherlock Holmes could have a heart. Sadly, Scotland Yard was wrong…again.

T'was Christmas Eve and Holmes had been "kind" enough to drop off a "present" for the unfortunate Yarders who were stuck on duty that night, on his way to the Diogenes club to have Christmas dinner with his brother.

He had informed them that it was his own creation, and that it was so sensible that he deduced it to be quite popular in the next few years. And so, the five Yarders accepted the gift, none the wiser of the ultimate cruelty that Holmes had dealt them.

It was Jones that opened the box for them. The box was chilled, as though it had been pulled from an ice box just recently. Jones figured that it contained some foodstuffs in it, and he was right! ...In the worst of ways.

They, all five of them stared in disgusted horror at the, er, _**gift.**_Hopkins, being the youngest and thus the most curious took his bobby stick and …poked it. The monstrosity wiggled and jiggled.

Gregson, having the most, uh, _delicate__ constitution_(known as a weak stomach.) of them all, turned sick and darted out of the room as fast as he could. They all felt a little green themselves, for that matter.

"Well, as nice as it is, um, what exactly is **it**?" Hopkins asked, as he eyed the thing that wiggled and jiggled cautiously.

Lestrade turned his head sharply and narrowed his eyes at Hopkins as he spoke.

"It is _not_ nice! It is **his** way of mocking us! We, who have to stay and work as_** he**_ goes and splurges on dinner and family, you would _**know**_ that Hopkins if you weren't so-"

"Come now Lestrade, it isn't the lad's fault, don't go mad on him." MacDonald interrupted. "As for this _charming_ gift, I believe that it is supposed to be a compilation of Christmas dinner."

"I know that, but what is it in?" Hopkins explained.

"…"

Suddenly, Jones reached out and (with some difficulty) tore off a piece of the off white-pink wiggly stuff, popped it into his mouth and chewed.

Gregson, who had finally gathered his bearings, walked back into the room just as Jones did this. Gregson promptly lost his bearings and ran back out.

Jones swallowed and calmly said, "I believe that this is strawberry flavored gelatin mixed with mayonnaise. Though I am not aware of whatever forsaken reason possessed Holmes to mix them. It is quite revolting!"

Lestrade, MacDonald and Hopkins gaped at Jones as though he was wielding an ax and had proclaimed to be Jack the bloomin' Ripper!

"…My wife enjoys cooking concoctions; I get to be the victim." Jones informed them bluntly.

"Ahh." Was the collective reply.

"I say we burn it!" MacDonald nearly shouted, ever the dramatic one.

"I am in _full_ agreeance!" Gregson stated eagerly from the hallway.

"Here, here!" Hopkins jovially agreed.

Jones raised an eyebrow at his fellow Yarders childishness. Heaving a great sigh, Jones simply stated, "If it makes you happy…"

"And a curse on Sherlock Holmes." Lestrade said lowly, bringing silence and attention to him. "May all his bacon _**burn!**_"

"Amen!" was the chorus that rang out.

And thus the five men marched out to burn the Christmas feast that was mixed into the strawberry and mayonnaise flavored gelatin abomination, cursing Holmes and his Bacon all the way! 

** END**

****I hope that this was up to par and brought ya'll some cheer, once again Merry Christmas to all, have a wonderful season,

always yours,

Anony9.


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